memoirsofpi

When I turn 18, I’ve decided to get a tattoo.

Two actually, maybe three.. One will be this, and it’ll be on the left side of my chest: http://www.luckyicons.com/images/kanji_love.png

The third one might possibly be this, on my lower back, http://doroteos2.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/tree-of-life.jpg

Our lives are forever changing, nothing is ever consistent. And what is consistent, is not real.

 

Unexpected things happen, for unexpected reasons. Unknown thoughts rise up for unknown reasons.

 

I’m not in a major mood to blog right now, and I have not been for the past several weeks. I just feel I should put some of my thoughts into words somewhere. No one will really look here, this blog has supposedly died.

Within the past few months, I’ve made many mistakes, which caused one person to be injured. It is something I regret having happened, but unavoidable given the circumstances. My position on someone else is shifting, for unknown reasons! But I feel if I continue with such a change, for the better, it could lead to positive things. We’ll see.

I’ve never really knew what I looked for in girls before, never really had my own guideline. Yeah sure, they should be cute, and such. But past that? I’ve realized I’m looking for someone older than me, I wouldn’t mind dating a girl a few years older than me, I think it’d be more successful, since I feel unattached to a majority of females my age. Dating younger? I don’t think it’d work in many of the situations.

 

We’ll see where my thoughts and words take me, from here on out, they guide me.

Happiness is a fleeting feeling. Love is a soaring emotion.

I had such an inspiration to blog, and I still do, but the thoughts which were contained in my mind have suddenly evaporated! Such silly things, the thoughts escape me, escaping off into nothingness.

When I look at how people come to me for problems, directly and indirectly, I’m surprised at how well I answer them. Most of the time anyway. I’m not saying I’m professional at this, or that I am amazing in anyway. I just speak from my mind on the situation, and it’s sometimes what the person needs. Other times, we can just be talking, and something I say will hit home, and will become a catalyst for a change in that persons life. For the better I hope!

Work is superb, it is going so well I cannot believe it. It can be hard work, and trying at times but I enjoy it so much. The people are simply amazing (employees), everyone gets along so well. There are so many interesting people, I always enjoy having small conversations with them, while working alongside of them. A customer came up to me, after trying to ask another employee a question and it failing, and the person asked me how I can stand talking to, being with, and working alongside of people who can’t speak English, or can only speak basic English. I took a few moments to think about it, how can I stand it?

I told the customer that, if they don’t know English, then I enjoy talking with them even more. Because as we talk, we build a friendship, which is usually stronger than one built on two people who speak the same language, and they are able to improve faster, by my helping them. By my talking to, being with, and working alongside these people, both of us are able to grow, and improve on ourselves.

Lately I have been in a good mood, which is fairly unusual. That doesn’t mean I am not in a good mood a majority of the time, it’s just that I find that I smile a lot more, and am generally more outgoing. I could get used to this!

I’ve been approaching a decision for awhile now, one that I wanted to avoid having to make. Previously, I thought I had decided, and had it set in stone, but things are never that way, people change.

I don’t know right now, after I typed that I just sat here, looking at the screen for a few minutes. People change. I think that’s what hit me. We are all changing, at different speeds, in different ways. We’re going apart, yet we grow together.

What is love. No one knows, it’s like explaining color to a blind person, how to make sounds to someone who is mute. How the words “I Love You” sound to a deaf person.

What is our definition of love? Is it an uncontrollable feeling, unconditional and unexplainable? That’s the definition that was given to me awhile ago, and I think it is the most accurate. Regardless of how general it is. 

 

A quote is the representation of character. Can character be a representation of a quote?

I really don’t feel like blogging today, but I feel compelled to write. I don’t think I’m in a great mood, but not necessarily in a bad mood. I just don’t feel like really doing anything at all. BAH.

I feel like I am trying to avoid someone, and I do feel bad by doing it, but this person is non stop talking, about ridiculous and irrelevant topics, and is always sending my videos about some person I could give a fuck about. It’s extremely annoying, and I’ve told this person to stop, but they continue. Thus, the avoidance and ignoring of messages.

On a separate note, summer school starts this Thursday, which got mecompletely by surprises. Thanks Shevon for the heads up! Would have missed the first three class (there is one on Saturday T>T) if she never mentioned it.

I finally have a project to complete before the years end (Grade 12 year anyways). I recently listened to the song “To Zanarkand” from Final Fantasy and I was inspired by the emotion I felt while listening to it. I’ve decided to make it into an Orchestral piece. I’ve been thinking about it in my head, and I have a general idea of the layout of the new version. I have a idea of some of the instruments I want to use, and I’m very excited to get started on this!  

I plan to buy a digital keyboard capable of replicating as many instruments that I need as possible. This will make it easier in the long run since I’d be able to hear, change, and write the music myself. I’m very excited, and now whenever I listen to the song, I hear some of the instruments I want to put into it, and it sounds beautiful. –wipes tear-

I start my new job tomorrow, and so far I am not impressed by the staff. They said they’d call me be the end of the week with my schedule, then I went in and said they’d call me by sunday night. I ended up calling them to find out I only work one day this week, tomorrow, for three hours. I’m assuming it’s for training/orientation but still. That’s kind of a joke. Oh well.

I wrote more than I thought I would, and I am actually in a better mood now, after writing this! Thank god, I hate the moods where I feel like doing nothing.

 

P.S.

Thanks again Shevon! ;D

Our highest may be someone's lowest, thus we shall never look down, but crouch to look them eye-to-eye.

 

Where we are, determines who we are. We’re all rooted together, the true Tree of Life.

I’ve been feeling inclusive lately, for no particular reason either!

A lot of people have been asking me for help or advice on their friend/boyfriend/girlfriend lately, and apparently I am better at helping other people with their friend/relationships then I am at my own! I have no idea what it is, but my advice tends to help them, and let them move forward.

Can I move forward, give my advice to the mirror, hope that person, who looks like me, follows them.

At this point, I’m not sure what I need to move forward to, or rather, from what.

I have started some new threads within myself, and I do enjoy where they are heading. I have multiple paths to choose from, but I don’t know which one to pick! I am so indecisive.

My heart will lead me, it always had. I trust that the hardships and pain its endured will let me grow as a person, that when I reach the end, it will have all been worthwhile.

I question whether those three words were ever true, not the ones said to me, but the ones said from me.

And I seem to be unable to write in paragraphs lately, my thoughts are becoming broken.

 

The Night is just a lover missing its partner.

My finals are finally done, but I am not sure if I feel relieved yet! Even though the finals are done, I must begin my work for Students’ Union, and our schools MEntor program. Or rather, I must continue my work for those programs, seeing as how I started prior to my finals. Both require quite a lot of time to be put into it, I seem to attract the larger projects. This is what I get for becoming VP for Students’ Union I suppose!

I have to write up a website design and hopefully a forum and have it in working shape by August (hopefully), and get it filled with information. Oh well.

For MEntors, I have to go through the whole orientation package, add/remove/update information on everything. OH WELL.

One of the things I have been enjoying recently are the new friendships being formed. With fellow Grade 11er’s (soon to be 12er’s haha!), Grade 12er’s and Grade 10er’s. It’s surprising to me in all actuality, I have no idea how some of these friendships formed! Work brings us together I suppose.

Looking back on the past few weeks, it’s all been a real blur to me. I don’t think I’ve had so many meetings, and so much work to do, in such a short amount of time! I better get used to it though, next year will be a complete hell for me. I’ve never been the one to completely crack under pressure, so I’m quite interested on how everything will fall together.

The life’s night will never feel right, when we sit alone under the golden tree.

                                                                    {Random thought of the day}

 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. – Chinese proverb

All of a sudden, I am so busy once more! How did it become like this. Within one week, I have one presentation to prepare for, while juggling 2 field trips. Both of which are not that important. Oh well, this is what I get for trying to do everything.

I am reaching a point, where I need to sit down and talk with someone, before I continue on with another path. Things need to be sorted, and finalized. Hopefully, this will happen sooner, than later.

An completely separate note, I had a spark of creativity earlier today, with two of my friends. How unusual!

Hello again,

I’m the type of person who always enjoys watching other people, and observing their problems. Trying to learn, and make conclusions. Alongside, I am usually a calm person, if I do get angry, I’ll keep it to myself. Saves a lot of trouble that way.

But something weird happened yesterday. I got angry, and I was almost yelling, and making a close friend feel like crap. I don’t know why I got so mad, or why I couldn’t hold it in. We were talking about a certain race, and I was explaining my point of view, and how they made everyone else in the world suffer, because we always had to supply aid. I gave more of my opinion, but whenever she would give her opinion, I’d counter it, and I’d make her feel like crap cause of it.

I don’t know why I did this, and I have already apologized to her many times. I sometimes feel things are out of my control, and I hate that feeling.

I’ve been looking at some old videos, where it was me and three of my friends (her being one of them), and we’d always go out to eat for lunch. We don’t do that anymore, and they don’t see each other, I usually see all three of them. I hate the feeling of this, the fact that we all grew apart.

The girl, Jennifer, we did date for several months, but it ended recently, and she proclaimed that she had though about ending it near the start. That’s the icing on the cake. But, I never hated her for it, and so I wished to stay friends, other than the relationship we had, we also built a friendship, which I am still glad I have today. And in one fell swoop, I almost completely destroyed it, by getting angry, and making her feel like crap.

I don’t like this. I’m moving on, but does that mean I am changing so fast, I don’t know what I will do in certain situations.

  I am no good for titles, as you can tell by the post name, and even the blog’s name.

Memoirs of Pi. This name has no real significance as a whole, but the number Pi has always interested me. For no obvious reason either, and so I just continue on through life, crossing paths with it from time to time.

I enjoy School. That phrase alone astounds many people, but I don’t know why. It’s not the fact that I enjoy school as a whole, but more so the fact that it’s a place for knowledge and learning. I do enjoy learning new things, it’s always an enjoyable experience.

Okay well, not always. I don’t enjoy learning about Western World History, which is unfortunately one of my courses this year. Oh how I dread it so. There is no history, just war over and over again. How monotonous.

Well, I am still not used to writing blogs, so I suppose I am done for the day.



Lyndon